The Job Search

Search is really the wrong word, because I am not doing anything active such as searching. But the jobs that friends have suggested that I apply for are because they "know" someone are:

-4th grade teacher at the local Christian School (am I ready for that commitment?
-Educator at the Children Museum (too much like teaching without the money)
-administration assistant at the Children Museum (too many hours, almost full time)
-barista at Starbucks ( I don't like coffee that much)
-billing "specialist" (I made that title up) at a local counseling office (are they really going to hire someone?)

I've also applied (all on my own) to sub in our district. But I would pretty much just take jobs at J's school because of timing- I don't have anyone to watch him before and after school. But, I'm still not in the system because I lack a current physical even though I've seen several doctors and had many extensive tests. I called my OB office to see if the nurse prac would do it but she has moved to an office a hour away! So now I have to get in as a new patient at a Family Prac. since I haven't been to one since we moved to Illinois.

I'm not loving any of my options (except for maybe the billing job but I don't think anyone knows for sure if they really can afford to hire someone). So I'm hoping that someone else will know someone else and point them in my direction!

Deciding to not decide

With our due date being only a week away (August 5) we decided that maybe now is not the time to make any major decisions in the "what to do next" department. While its hard not to take the specialist recommendation to do a round of fertility meds this month I do feel a little relieved not to have to worry about it all just a little longer.

Fertility meds mean dealing with a mail order drug company plus many last minute trips to the clinic an hour away. And, it could be quite the hormone "trip" as well. With kindergarten approaching and my mind a mess anyway, avoiding all of that for now seems wise.

Maybe we're passing up a chance, but we more think we are waiting until we are ready. At least more ready than we are now. Many of you have asked what my test results mean, especially details on the incompetent cervix. Well, I don't know, but I'm ready to find out (I think). A friend of mine, who is a doctor, advised me to start doing some research and that she thinks I'll be encouraged by the statistics (meaning the chances of carrying a baby full term after you are diagnosed and precautions are taken). I'm hoping to meet with a nurse and my counselor this week or next for some details on those statistics and percautions. I've been avoiding doing a lot of Internet research. There is so much to sort through and I never know what to believe anyway.

So as we wait I'm trying not to think about how old I'm getting or how Jonah will be or how it will never happen. But I'm instead TRYING to believe that we're doing the best thing for us right now.

Lacking: Common Sense

As it ended up, I had scheduled both J's kindergarten physical and my crazy x-ray all in the same day. There was much hoopla in getting J an appointment because his doctor no longer gives immunizations at his office. Which wasn't necessarily a bad thing since I was looking for an excuse to find a new doctor for him, not because I don't love everyone in the office because I do, but because his doctor recently renamed his practice a "health spa" which I find a little weird. Even the nurse suggested I look elsewhere if our insurance covers immunizations, which it does, since its cheaper than going one place for a physical and to the health dept. for the shots. And easier, so I thought.

I took her suggestion and called the office which is right next door to theirs, they even share a waiting room. Now, I only talked to both the "old" and "new" offices, the health department, and the insurance company all at least once. All of which told me I probably want to go elswhere. Don't they want my business? I guess they all seemed to think it would be cheaper for me to go somewher that wasn't them. UGH. I finally settled on the "new" office and got an appointment one month out. When they scheduled my appointment for the x-ray I found out that the specialist was only going to be in town one day this month, the same day as the hard to get kindergarten physical. I told the nurse this much and she worked out the times for me like she understood what it would mean to change it (a big fat headache, 4 more phone calls...). For some reason I lacked all common sense and thought it was a good idea to go ahead and do both in the same day.

In the midst of gathering things up for both appointments plus a meal on the road I forgot one important thing: J's shot record. It didn't even cross my mind! We get to his new doctor and the recepionist asks if I would like to pay for a physical or have it billed to my insurance as a well child visit. I was thinking, "Hmmm, do I want to pay for it out of my pocket or have the insurance company pay for it? Isn't that why I have insurance?". As I was thinking, she asks "are you sure your insurance covers well child? UGH. I was pretty sure that they did but to make sure I call them from the office. Just as J was getting weighed the insurance company rep. says that they will cover it, as along as its coded correctly.

But then the nurse asks for his shot record, which I of course had forgotten and hadn't thought of until she mentions it. She then wants to code the physical differently and send me to the health department for his shots. Since I had changed doctors in order to do it all at once (and because we had talked up shots for a whole month AND because I wanted an excuse to change doctors) I said I would go home right then and come with the shot record so we could do shots TODAY. And that is what I did. And hopefully it didn't cost me out the wazoo. J got 4 shots which he cried on #2,#3, and #4 but still did great. And even though it was only 10:30am I still thought he deserved a Happy Meal with a new transformer toy in it. (Although I forgot socks so he couldn't play in the Playplace and I wasn't going home AGAIN).

One huge doctor's appointment in one day is all I can handle. Now I know. But its done and now we can officially go to kindergarten!

Deja Vu

Laying on the x-ray table today reminded me of a couple weeks ago when I was standing in my kitchen and the repair man took one look inside my oven and said "you have a burned out heating element." Only this time it was the specialist talking about my cervix. After taking the first or second image he quickly informed me "you have an incompetent cervix."

"Is that why I lost the baby?" I asked, near tears.

"Yeah" he says.

"Are you positive?"

"I never say positive, that can get me into trouble but I'm so sure that I will suggest that you get pregnant again. And this is good news, I can fix that (meaning the incompetent cervix)."

If only it was as easy as signing check and giving the repair man the go ahead to fix the problem. If only this came with a guarantee.

How am I feeling? Tired and cramping from the meds and procedure. Relieved to FINALLY KNOW. But also wondering, do we? Does he really know what he is talking about? Sad and frustrated because it probably could have been prevented. Overwhelmed, but not without hope, about the decision that we have to make.

How would you feel about this information? What would you now do?


Jonah passed level 2 (Guppies) last week! I didn't think he would pass because he just couldn't "scoop ice cream." Scooping ice cream (vanilla is always with your right hand and chocolate is always with your left, according to Jonah) is the basic front stroke (is that the proper name?) and he just couldn't get it! It was just too hard to keep your arms straight when you have to "scoop" them for a full 360 degrees! But it turns out, they just have to be able to float alone in order to pass this level. And we can float! So next summer we are ready for the next level, Beginner's Swimming!

He even jumped off the diving board a bunch but someone was always there to catch him. I think he was a little frustrated when we went to the pool today and I wouldn't catch him, but we stuck to the slide (where I can touch and safely catch him) and he was fine with that!

(Wacky) Wisdom

In honor of my husband's Jake's 31st Birthday, which is today, I've linked to some past posts where my dear husband reveals wisdom from his past 3 plus decades.

On Romance

On Home Repair

On Parenting

On Math

On pumpkin carving

Five Bites

I was cooking dinner one day last week and J asked what we were having. I told we were having tacos. He say "Yea, now I don't have to have five bites!"

I figured out that he meant this: on nights when we doesn't eat a thing on his plate we tell him he has to eat five bites (because he is five). Because he likes tacos he doesn't need any encouragement to eat 5 (or more) bites.

Here are the things that Jonah says does NOT require the Five Bite Rule at dinner time:

some that aren't a surprise, loves by MOST kids:
Hot dogs
Mac and Cheese
french fries
mashed potatoes
any kind of fruit
green beans
grilled cheese

and some that you might not expect:
garbanzo beans (straight from the can, often for breakfast)
hummus (like Daddy makes)
peas (slightly frozen is fine)
sweet potatoes
black olives
raw peppers

DEFINITLY require the Five Bite Rule:
any kind of meat that is not in the form of a nugget
salad (all lettuce is salad)
mushrooms, zuchinni, other "weird" veggies and any combination of

Depends on the Day:
pasta with a sauce other than red or powered cheese
things that he likes mixed together

Who needs Lexapro?

The rant of a depressed woman and the cures of chocolate:

I realized how reliant I am this weekend, when we were visiting family. My mother-in-law said that chocolate chips make a good anti-depressant. A handful of semi-sweet chocolate chips might cure the my-husband-is away-on-a-business-trip-blues or the feeling of I-can't-handle-one-more-episode-of-Power-Rangers, but I need something MORE right now. She suggested Hershey kisses. And if you feel like you STILL need more after that, wash it down with some chocolate syrup, straight from the bottle. I think that chocolate syrup without the milk would make me feel worse, not better. But washing it down with a peanut butter fudge shake from Sonic, that might scoop me right out of the depths of despair. But since there isn't a Sonic in a 30 mile radius, that really isn't an option.

But speaking of peanut butter, I used to think that Reeses were the ultimate cure all for not having a boyfriend, babysitting on New Years Eve, or any other teenage angst. But when I turned 30 I wanted the "real deal." Why have peanut butter when you can have peanuts, or better yet almonds or cashews smoothered in chocolate?

I've just "happened upon" a few Hershey bars with almonds in the last few weeks. One was given to me at VBS for "helping" but the others I'm sure I HAD to buy at CVS for a filler so I could get a sweet deal. I then mentioned that I had gone through a bag and and half of Hershey minatures in the last few weeks. But that's not entirely true- I've finished off all of the Mr. Goodbars. When Jonah asks if can have one I try and direct him away from "the yellow ones" and say wouldn't you rather have a "red one" as I hand him the not-so-favorite Krackle bar.

So the next time a doctor, specialist, counselor, nurse, friend (and whoever else, because everyone asks) if I need a "happy pill" I can say that I already have one that is working for now, so don't write that presciption quite yet (as I crumple up another yellow wrapper...).

The Frustrating Four

Here are four frustrating things that happened to me yesterday, in the order of which they happened:

1. Unhappy Lady at the regional educational building told me that the FBI might not approve me to sub because I don't have any fingerprints and I might have to (drive all the way across town)come back and try again. She also said that I had the smallest fingers that she has ever seen (except in the movies, sorry if you don't get that joke but I just couldn't help it)and maybe that was part of the problem.

2. The stove parts sales man said that there was NO WAY we had a broken heating element since I was getting some heat, so Jake put the part back and scheduled Repair Man to come out.
Repair Man barely had the oven open when he said "Heating element is out".
"But I'm getting some heat", I said.
"Its because the broiling element is coming on during the preheating process" Repair Man stated.
So then I paid him $105 for taking the old one out with a screw driver and replacing it with a new one (which by the way costs $30 at the store!!!). He was there a total of 20 minutes.

3. Infertility Specialist Nurse called to give me the bad news about my blood tests- my hormone levels are low and the "high" they were expecting post pregnancy seems to be non-existent. That means that getting pregnant without medical assistant doesn't seem to be likely since ovulation has to actually occur for that to happen and the results show that my body probably isn't doing that. Frustration is a pretty mild term for what I am feeling right now!

4. CVS did not have any wonderful deals for me to "work" last night. I need my "CVS Therapy" (CVS Therapy is when getting lots of free stuff at CVS makes me feel better, purposeful, successful) (don't say anything about CVS Therapy being unhealthy because I DON'T CARE).

You've got to be kidding me

So I think I've been handling the unexpected pretty well while in my grief stricken state.

I've had to have my van towed twice, paid $800 to get it fixed only to pick it up and discover that it is now missing a hubcap. I did not pay the big bucks to get in return the getto van, thanks! But whatever right?! Not a big deal in the scheme of things.

And I survived a very unpleasant experience at the dentist. And I'm sure I'll do fine when I have two wisdom teeth extracted in the near future by my Power Ranger-look-alike-dentist.

But I CANNOT HANDLE A BROKEN OVEN!!! I'm a planner. I have a menu. I cook and bake. I was going to make a BBQ chicken pizza tonight for dinner that I was looking forward to putting together. And how am I suppose to manage 2 pans of brownies for the youth group who is coming over for some ultimate Frisbee tomorrow night?

I thought that the refrigerator biscuits that I popped in the oven to go with some sausage gravy on Sunday night took a little longer than usual. And the oven just didn't feel very hot. But it wasn't until the chocolate chip cookies that Jake begged me to make last night just wouldn't cook (after being in the oven a half hour) that I realized that something must be wrong! He then cranked the oven up to 450 degrees which only burnt the outside while leaving a gooey uncooked center.

I guess I will be looking for a stove repair man this afternoon. I hope I don't have to get a new one because I love my flat top stove that my friend Carol gave me (and I'm not sure if I can convince Jake to shell out the bucks for another like it).

The real question is: should I attempt to make my pizza on the grill or just pick up some tortillas and have BBQ chicken quesadillas instead? I need a plan, or I WILL lose it!!