Deciding to not decide

With our due date being only a week away (August 5) we decided that maybe now is not the time to make any major decisions in the "what to do next" department. While its hard not to take the specialist recommendation to do a round of fertility meds this month I do feel a little relieved not to have to worry about it all just a little longer.

Fertility meds mean dealing with a mail order drug company plus many last minute trips to the clinic an hour away. And, it could be quite the hormone "trip" as well. With kindergarten approaching and my mind a mess anyway, avoiding all of that for now seems wise.

Maybe we're passing up a chance, but we more think we are waiting until we are ready. At least more ready than we are now. Many of you have asked what my test results mean, especially details on the incompetent cervix. Well, I don't know, but I'm ready to find out (I think). A friend of mine, who is a doctor, advised me to start doing some research and that she thinks I'll be encouraged by the statistics (meaning the chances of carrying a baby full term after you are diagnosed and precautions are taken). I'm hoping to meet with a nurse and my counselor this week or next for some details on those statistics and percautions. I've been avoiding doing a lot of Internet research. There is so much to sort through and I never know what to believe anyway.

So as we wait I'm trying not to think about how old I'm getting or how Jonah will be or how it will never happen. But I'm instead TRYING to believe that we're doing the best thing for us right now.