A matter of Opinion: Gathering Information Part 2

My desire was to take the next 2-4 weeks to obtain some pretty serious information in order to help us make a decision about trying to have another child. I wasn't looking forward to this because I expected lots of frustration through many hours of Internet research and phone conversations. I expected to not get anywhere, fast, at least.

I thought that today would be Day One in the process. Jonah is in school and its a new week. But in the middle of trying to send him off last week and do all of the last minute things involved with the start of school, a variety of information was thrown my way. It was in no way gathered, but instead hurled my direction.

I mentioned expecting frustration, and I've already experienced my limit. In an attempt to "gather" I sought a 2nd opinion about the cause of my water breaking and advice about the next step. I thought making an appointment with a local doctor, who has lost 2 babies the way I did, would be a good fit for me. But, she wouldn't see me. She doesn't do a lot of high risk and she definitely doesn't do infertility. She would be happy to be a homebase doctor for me if I do get pregnant again but she would expect that I would need to see a high-risk doctor as well. I guess even without an appointment, I got her opinion: I need specialists.

After that door closed I soon found myself in the middle of an insurance mess. Apparently I filled out a form incorrectly and if I had done it right the problem could have been corrected by now. But until then, I'm not allowed to see the specialist or receive treatment of any kind in this state (his main office is out of state). The right paperwork has now been filed and now we just have to wait.

I was ready to give up on Thursday when all of this occurred but thankfully, something good did come out of it. One of the nurse pracs called on Saturday to discuss a new plan, just in case I couldn't see the specialist. Her planned involves seeing a doctor who although is not a perinatologist , sees lots of high risk cases and is very qualified to do the cervical cerclage (if I do become pregnant). And, she got my in next week! This is what I wanted, to talk to another expert.

In the process of getting that appointment, I got yet another opinion- from the nurse prac. She DOESN'T think I have an incompetent cervix and thinks I lost the baby because of bad luck. She also thinks I don't need the cerclage and that I wouldn't be put on bed rest. She says that infertility specialists and OBGYN's often differ on these matters. Great! If professionals cannot agree, how am I, an emotional female who has just got her heart broken, make a wise decision?

We do, however, have an appointment with a social worker from Bethany Adoption Services this week that was easy to obtain and has caused very little frustration. I'm sure that is to come though as we continue our gathering of information in order to make a wise and informed decision.


Deena said...

Hang in there girl!
Just know that I think of you often, and I continue to pray that you get the answers you want and need.

Love ya,

Traci said...

I'm not sure what happened with your last pregnancy but be sure to ask the high risk doc's "What are my chances of OTHER things happening since I have already had _____ condition before?"
I delivered #1 DD @ 29.5 weeks because of pre-eclampsia & Hellp syndrome. When we made the decision to have #2 we went to MFM & asked about Pre-E & Hellp happening again? It was pretty much 50-50 because I have two of the highest risk factors (chronic hypertension & already had Pre-E & Hellp). So we rolled the dice & were completely caught off guard when @ 27 weeks I had placental abruption (placenta detaches from the uteras wall) luckily it was only partial because if it had come off completely it would have cut her oxygen off & killed her. Turns out placental abruption is ANOTHER condition that can occur because of chronic hypertension. I ended up being hospitalized for 6 weeks w/ a 2.5yr old at home an hour & a half away before delivering yet another preemie @ 33weeks due to Pre-E.
I'm not sure I would have done anything different but I certainly would have appreciated knowing what "could" happen so I could've been prepared. Luckily we have two beautiful HEALTHY daughters now but it certainly took a lot of docs, hospitals & prayers to get us there.
I wish you all the best of luck with your journey. Follow your heart & what will be, will be.